The disciples were so close to Jesus they lived and breathed what he taught. Their hope for their futures had been placed in him. They had left their livelihoods to follow him. Lets face it they had a lot riding on this guy. Then it all went horribly wrong, and on that cross their hopes died, their futures died. Their friend lay there dying and there was nothing they could do about it.
This really struck me I think because I have recently written a blog for a charity I am involved in. 8 years ago my son was diagnosed with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy, a fatal muscle wasting disease for which there is no cure. That day felt like my Good Friday, all my hopes, faith and dreams died on that day. I cried God why have you forsaken me? I tasted the bitterness of bile. I shouted and screamed 'God I have given you everything and yet you have done this?' On that day and for a good couple of months later I lived under a dark cloud. I lived in a place completely empty of hope, empty of anything. I couldn't see any way out. Everything had changed.
I wonder how the disciples felt? How Mary felt? Did they walk around in a daze?
'Holy Saturday' must have been a very dark day for them, coming to terms with what happened, readjusting to life without him and making new plans, mourning the death of their master, their friend and most importantly their Savior. Jesus had foretold them of his death and indeed of his resurrection, he had told them the end of the story, but they didnt get it. I wonder in the reality of Good Friday and the day after did they believe he would come back? Did they hold on to his promises?
Going back to my sons diagnosis, I had so many promises to hold on to. 'I will never leave you or forsake you' was one of them. But in the darkness of that time I have to admit I lost sight of those promises and lost sight of God. That's a dangerous place to be! I am so glad I am out of that place now.
But this morning something struck me, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb. She went back to the place where her hopes had died, her dreams in tatters and her friend gone. She went back to a place of great pain and grief and there she was met with an empty tomb and more so than that she now stood in a place not of mourning but of victory. Jesus had done it! She was told he had risen and to go and spread the word. She then met him and fell at his feet clasping them with all that she had.
Sometimes I think we have to go back and we have to face those fears and the pain. The bitterness and the disappointments life brings. Sometimes we are hurt badly by those in the church and these things can mar our relationship with God, it can stop us moving forward. Imagine living your life under the shadow of the tomb instead of in the light of the resurrection, living in the emptiness of Easter Saturday. Being disappointed in God is such a heart wrenching thing. To face circumstances and disappointments whatever they may be and to go back can be the most victorious and releasing event ever. It's only when we let all that go can we stand in his resurrection power, and then go and pass that on to others.
If we are holding onto the baggage how can we run and clasp our saviors feet, like Mary did.
I have done that now, I have moved from that place of disappointment, of anger, of why God to that place of joy once again, and in that joy comes real strength to get me through the tough times.
This Easter for the first time in years I felt such a joy in celebrating the fact that he had risen and the victorious power that brings, because not only can I stand before the throne of grace with no condemnation, I can walk in hope, hope of a future.
Finally; I have spent some time pondering on the reaction of the disciples.I think our reaction to the news of Jesus' Resurrection is somewhat diluted. God had triumphed, he cheated death he died and now he lives. Come on that deserves a shout, a scream and a dance! Did the disciples sing a few good hymns and clap their hands or did they scream, shout and give the saviour of the world 12 high fives (or 11?) and rugby tackle him to the ground?
My 5 year old was very excited today she said to me , after we established it wasn't about Easter eggs, 'I cant believe Jesus is alive again, he is the most important person.'
As they say out of the mouth of babes, her eyes sparkled and she had a huge grin on her face as she said it!
So as Easter Sunday draws to a close, make a decision to live in Easter Sunday and not in the dark doubtful reality of the Saturday. He died that we may live and live in hope free from fear and disappointments.
So choose to live in the light of the resurrection and not under the shadow of a tomb.
Move on from the hurt and the disappointments and embrace God, embrace his power.
let the truth of this song wash over you
